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玲记在心: Have a laugh
Monday, October 6, 2008

玲记在心: Have a laugh

Life is stressful, It's always nice to smile. So let us take a break ya?
Here we go.....

Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
Married MEN Not Allowed. We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy... =P

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.

Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter ?

Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

1st thief: Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won't.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It's addressed to Mumbai.