玲记在心: The Thought
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
玲记在心: The ThoughtDear blog,
I sometime feel like closing you down as I found that now a day, I had been sharing with you both my unhappiness and happiness. I did not intend to share with you any of the "sad". I only wanted to note down the "happy" when I first created you.
Sometime, I could not even write down what I wanted to write due to some reason. So what for having a "you"? I do not know having you is a good or a bad thing. The good thing is, I'm able to keep every single matter as a memory and also allow other who care about me to read up my life. The bad thing is, you do remind me of the unhappiness and also created a space for me to write but yet unable to write as I wanted it to be. Maybe it's you, that why I appreciate the "happy" when i write about my "sad"?
I sometime feel like closing you down as I found that now a day, I had been sharing with you both my unhappiness and happiness. I did not intend to share with you any of the "sad". I only wanted to note down the "happy" when I first created you.
Sometime, I could not even write down what I wanted to write due to some reason. So what for having a "you"? I do not know having you is a good or a bad thing. The good thing is, I'm able to keep every single matter as a memory and also allow other who care about me to read up my life. The bad thing is, you do remind me of the unhappiness and also created a space for me to write but yet unable to write as I wanted it to be. Maybe it's you, that why I appreciate the "happy" when i write about my "sad"?
All right, today I had a lot in my mind. I sometime choose to give up "A" in order to be with "B".
Then I found out that "B" is not the one that needed me to accompany. So I go to "A". Samething, can't. There's "C" which really appreciate me but yet I know I like "B" more. I choose "B" or "A" but not "C"..Ha..Why am I such an idiot? So i decided, not to think of "A", "B", "C" or even "DEFG". I'm tired of being a fool. Stupid me.
I dislike the consequence behind the answer of YES and NO. When I answer yes/ok, I know i will not feel good. When I answer NO, I regret. So what for communicate?
I would like to do thing by following my heart, answering thing by my heart. But Can't. I need brain always. My heart is the one who always suffer. Wanted to show but the brain hind it up. It's a need to cover it? I don't know. My brain say so.
Today, I had a taste of the mushroom puff. It's not as good as it taste compare to the time where I had my very first try. I ate half and then threw it away.
Stayed in class whole day. Choose not to go eat although I'm very free and hungry. Today problem statement is difficult but thanks to the Enterprise Faci, all of us in the class are able to study and understand fully. I choose not to eat becasue I just do not feel like. Yes, stubborn me. In my group, noted that one of my group member not in a very good mood too. Hope he's okay soon. All right, I'm not in a very good mood becasuse of many reason. I think a lot. really. So much for me to remember and to take note of. So much that I put my health aside. I do not want to act "happy", "smile" infront of my friend so I decided to stay in class. I do not want them to waste their time to listen to me. Cox I myself also could not share with them at all.
Just few min before 4.30pm, I play with my MSN. I keep sign in sign out. Put offline and then online again. Yes, I laugh at my own joke. I saw the pop up MSN message that displayed I had sign in on other people laptop. The message keep pop up. A lot!! Haha!! But, Let me tell you, nobody except Ruiming, Samm and Hazfi found out and talk to me. Ask me not to play with my MSN.
Release of school, again, choose not to eat. Normally when I'm moody, I will order a lot and eat although I know I could not finish it. But yet today is different, I just hack care my stomach no matter how many time it keep reminding me to feed it food. Went home alone. Took bus 903 to the intercharge. Had been a long time since I last went to intercharge alone. The feeling... Don't know.
Today did not overstop. Cox I did not sleep at all. The air con in the bus very cold. My favourite seat is occupy by other. I was holding my Hp. I do not know what I wanted to do with my Hp. I wanted to off it. Throw it away.
Reached home, Mum was surprise that I'm home so early. I guess she know I did not eat and went to cook. Haha. Clever her. But Still, I choose to take a nap. Don't know why, I know I must eat. Comfirm must. Due to my past experience, I comfirm will vomit etc. But I really just wanted to hack care the stomach, the health. I had a bad thought, I hope it pain more!!
Then I found out that "B" is not the one that needed me to accompany. So I go to "A". Samething, can't. There's "C" which really appreciate me but yet I know I like "B" more. I choose "B" or "A" but not "C"..Ha..Why am I such an idiot? So i decided, not to think of "A", "B", "C" or even "DEFG". I'm tired of being a fool. Stupid me.
I dislike the consequence behind the answer of YES and NO. When I answer yes/ok, I know i will not feel good. When I answer NO, I regret. So what for communicate?
I would like to do thing by following my heart, answering thing by my heart. But Can't. I need brain always. My heart is the one who always suffer. Wanted to show but the brain hind it up. It's a need to cover it? I don't know. My brain say so.
Today, I had a taste of the mushroom puff. It's not as good as it taste compare to the time where I had my very first try. I ate half and then threw it away.
Stayed in class whole day. Choose not to go eat although I'm very free and hungry. Today problem statement is difficult but thanks to the Enterprise Faci, all of us in the class are able to study and understand fully. I choose not to eat becasue I just do not feel like. Yes, stubborn me. In my group, noted that one of my group member not in a very good mood too. Hope he's okay soon. All right, I'm not in a very good mood becasuse of many reason. I think a lot. really. So much for me to remember and to take note of. So much that I put my health aside. I do not want to act "happy", "smile" infront of my friend so I decided to stay in class. I do not want them to waste their time to listen to me. Cox I myself also could not share with them at all.
Just few min before 4.30pm, I play with my MSN. I keep sign in sign out. Put offline and then online again. Yes, I laugh at my own joke. I saw the pop up MSN message that displayed I had sign in on other people laptop. The message keep pop up. A lot!! Haha!! But, Let me tell you, nobody except Ruiming, Samm and Hazfi found out and talk to me. Ask me not to play with my MSN.
Release of school, again, choose not to eat. Normally when I'm moody, I will order a lot and eat although I know I could not finish it. But yet today is different, I just hack care my stomach no matter how many time it keep reminding me to feed it food. Went home alone. Took bus 903 to the intercharge. Had been a long time since I last went to intercharge alone. The feeling... Don't know.
Today did not overstop. Cox I did not sleep at all. The air con in the bus very cold. My favourite seat is occupy by other. I was holding my Hp. I do not know what I wanted to do with my Hp. I wanted to off it. Throw it away.
Reached home, Mum was surprise that I'm home so early. I guess she know I did not eat and went to cook. Haha. Clever her. But Still, I choose to take a nap. Don't know why, I know I must eat. Comfirm must. Due to my past experience, I comfirm will vomit etc. But I really just wanted to hack care the stomach, the health. I had a bad thought, I hope it pain more!!
I took my basketball and play with it. tired is the word.
K la, eaten my only meal at 8pm. At least got eat la.
Today RJ question: Using demand and supply concepts, explain why David Beckham would earn so much more than an SLeague football player.
K la, eaten my only meal at 8pm. At least got eat la.
Today RJ question: Using demand and supply concepts, explain why David Beckham would earn so much more than an SLeague football player.
The RJ question for this sem is really all those that require thinking!! Already used up my brain a lot for today, reached home still need to think again. I dislike the today me.
Anyway, I did not show any of my mood to anyone in class k. I still laugh as usual speak as usual. Work with my team member as my usual self. I feel that it good to let ppl see u happy than keep seeing you pulling a long long face right? So i hanged up the smile on my face today. I wrote down my today just to "you" as I can't show it out. I decided a lot of thing today. Yes. Decided.
*This post will had a lot of gammer and spelling mistake etc. cox I just write without thinking and did not check at all. That it.
Hair is long enough for me to go for a new hair cut. Finally it's long enough. Time to watch my last ep of MR. Know what is MR? People who I had been interact or contact lately, if u do not know, then i nothing to say. Anyway it's not important. k, This show always make me cry. Time to cry it out.
*This post will had a lot of gammer and spelling mistake etc. cox I just write without thinking and did not check at all. That it.
Hair is long enough for me to go for a new hair cut. Finally it's long enough. Time to watch my last ep of MR. Know what is MR? People who I had been interact or contact lately, if u do not know, then i nothing to say. Anyway it's not important. k, This show always make me cry. Time to cry it out.
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